Jokes for you

Here are some funny ones from joke-of-the-day.com

You Are What You Drive...

Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter.

"So," Peter asks the first guy, "how many times did you cheat on your wife?"

"None. I had a perfect marriage."

"Great," says Peter. "You get to cruise around heaven in a Mercedes. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife

"Only twice, I think," says the second guy.

"Okay. You get to cruise around heaven in a Cadillac. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?"

"12 times. Maybe 13," says the third guy.

"Okay," says Peter. "You get a rusty Ford."

Later that day, the guy in the Cadillac sees the guy in the Mercedes crying.

"What`s wrong?"

"I just saw my wife and she was riding a skateboard!"

The Best of Late Night...

George Bush is writing a book. No, that's not the joke. It's a serious book about the 12 toughest decisions he made as President. It's called 'The Ten Toughest Decisions I Made As President.' It's a good book. It's a pop-up book."--Jimmy Fallon

"A very happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody. Of course, St. Patrick's day is a little different this year. Nobody's got any green left." --Jay Leno

"Kim Jong-il has demanded that North Korea open its first pizzeria. It will have pizza just like the kind we have over here, but their Crazy Bread will actually be crazy."--Jimmy Fallon

"The Republicans are on board in this, too. Iowa Senator Charles Grassley told AIG executives -- this is what he actually said -- he said they should either quit or commit suicide. But I think that's plain wrong. I mean, why give them the option of quitting?" --Jay Leno

"Oh, a little health scare for former Vice President Dick Cheney's wife, Lynne Cheney. She was hospitalized briefly after fainting at home. She's apparently okay. But here's kind of a funny thing that happened. The paramedics arrived, and out of habit they started giving C.P.R. to Dick." --David Letterman

"Everyone had a nice time, but I guess things got ugly for a second when Ben Bernanke, the chairman of the Federal Reserve, mistook Dennis Kucinich for a leprechaun and tried to choke him for his gold." --Jimmy Kimmel

"And some sad news. Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin's daughter, has broken up with babydaddy Levi Johnston. I was stunned when I heard. I mean, really, if two kids without a decent education and no jobs and a baby can't make it, what hope is there for the rest of us?" --Jay Leno

"Here's a guy that won't go away, that Osama bin Laden. We got another audiotape from bin Laden. Have you heard it? He attacks moderate Arab leaders, he calls for renewed jihad, and he gives his NCAA picks." --David Letterman

"The Federal Reserve says Americans last year lost 11 trillion dollars in household wealth. You know, that is our own stupid, greedy fault for putting the money in banks. If we'd lost it in Las Vegas, they would have at least comped the room." -- Bill Maher

"In a speech Tuesday, President Obama outlined new education goals that proposed longer school days and longer school years. 'That's a brilliant idea,' said Katherine, the fifth grader nobody likes." -- Seth Meyers

Hey hey hey!!!

So today is tuesday and tomorrow i am starting my mini vacation. My grandparent's are leaving for Florida. They are to travel by train. They are leaving around lunch time and i am going to be home. Of course i am not staying here by myself my bestie Heather is coming to stay with me till they get back. I am excited because there will be no one here but her and i. We will have a full week of fun activities to keep us occupied. I still am working at dutchway adn I HATE it. I cannot stand it anymore. I only work 2-3 days a week and at 7.75 an hour it is not enough money to make the payments on bills, and such so ia m trying to get another job soon. and hopefully i onl;y have to wait till the beginnging of April. I hope that he can give me the job cause if not i am going to have to freak out....But i will eventually get over it and move on. So lets keep up the fun....Have a great week...

Alright so i was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and while we were talking she asked me y she cannot get a boyfriend. I was not about to tell her it was cause she is a Dork that has no job at 20 and cannot drive byherself without her dad. So being a nice friend i told her that it might be because she is not meant to find the love of her life. The more we talked however the more annoyed I became with her...So i began to tell her that she has to eventually move out of her dad'd house and move on with her life. So she told me that her dad would eventually get old and not be able to care for himself so her and her "husband"(if she were to get that far) would agree to let him live with them until he eventaully passed away....I then told her that if he cannot take care of himself that he is to go to a nursing home. And she said that he will not go to one because of an experiance that they had with her grandpa so he will not go to one. And i told her that if I were her i would not allow my dad to live with me and my husband cause i wouldn;t not want my dad poking his nose in my business. Then she told me that they would build an area in the house just for him to live so that way all he would need to use is the kitchen dinning room and the bathroom....So no matter what i said about growing up and all she said was well i would work it out with my husband. And i told her that she might not ever find someone...so i was being kinda mean but all she said was we shall see......i mean how DUMB can you be?????

Alright so here i am at heather's house watching tv. When i realized that i missed Secret life of the american teenager. But i will catch it at a later time. for now though i want to focus on something else. there are some people in my life that obviously want teh best for me. So i am trying to make those things happen however. my resource of money has run dry I work a crappy job like 2 days a week and am barley able to pay the one school bill let alone the other bills that i have drug myself into. so anyway i am a step up form a CNA but a lot of people are telling me to take classes to be a CNA. I am not sure how right it is but i was told at school that there is no way that you can work below what you are certified as. So as a medical assistant i am sorta confused if you can or not, But they want me to move forth adn get my CNA. But i am at the point that i am not sure what i want to do because i am stuck in this bad job. And a lot of the classmates that i graduated with are in college for really really good jobs and i am looking back on what i have done since our graduation and i am saddened cause it is not a whole hell of a lot. i do a lot of other non job type things but it is no longer good enough...I am still trying to get up off of the ground that i stumbled on after i moved out of my parents house and into my grandparents house...I am not saying that they have not helped me cause they have. Still i feel like it is not enough, I have no money to pay them back what i oew

RV SHOW!!!!

Yesterday was fun. Heather, Sharon, Paul and I all went to the York RV show. we got there and began our search for the perfect Camper for us. It was a lot of fun. Two buildings full of RVs. It is like camper Heaven. I am still not sure why we like to go but i like to look at the new designs in the RV world...I did notice that a lot of them are going to electric switches for everything...That is funny. Cause then we were sitting in one of them and Paul was like i am buying this camper so of course we were like what r u talking about and he said it is all electric. Not too much work involved in this one....We all had a good laugh and that was that. We did not win any bingo games but Paul did win a prize from the treasure hunt game. We go every year. I am looking forward to camping the weekends away. Memorial day and 4Th of July. and come the 4Th of July trip i will be legal to do what i want HEHEHE....alright i got to go so i will talk at you later...

HAPPY MARCH!!!

HAPPY MARCH!!!

So things have been going well. My hours at work have been slashed to less then half of what they were and now i am scrounging money for things. Other then that i live with my grandparent's and I enjoy everyminute of it. I am watching Secret life of the American Teenager and it is deff a good one..I have off till wed Then i work saturday. i am mad bored so i am going to go and write in my story while i feel inspired.